


Darkness, My Love

by 69reggaetongirl



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2019-02-04 07:31:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12766125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/69reggaetongirl/pseuds/69reggaetongirl
Summary: A dark Emma fic ! Yeah I know another one (I also read almost everyone of them too) but in this one Emma is kind of freed by the darkness instead of being trapped by it. Intrigued ? Click on the link :)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, you're the braves ones who decided to click on the story link. Nice to meet you. This fic begins right after the events of the season 4 final. A lot of Dark Emma fics I read make Emma evil overnight or all shade of shady and that's not how I imagined it at all. I wanted an unapologetic and uninhibited Emma, who finally feels confident about herself and doesn't care about what people expect of her. So, I decided to write my own fic. No harm ever came from writing a fic, right ? (if you read that with Evelyn O'Connell voice we're going to be great friends). It was actually quite difficult since English is not my first language but you can all thanks CdB55 for her beta reading or rather making this story understandable. Enjoy !

Everyone is silent. They all stay petrified, staring at the dagger as if it's going to move on its own. Finally, after what seems to be the longest minute of her life, Regina snaps. Even if using the dagger to call Emma without setting a plan first is probably the most dangerous and stupid idea right now she finds herself moving toward it. They have to know what has become of Emma. She has to know. When Regina picks up the dagger, everyone is still so stunned that nobody stops her. She decides to go for it then:

-"Dark One, I summon thee."

-"Regina, what are you..."

Snow doesn't have time to finish when Emma is here. And she is, well, Emma. Same clothes, same face, same expression (if a little more confused than usual). Regina heaves a sigh of relief while Snow runs past her shouting, "Emma" and crushes her daughter in a desperate hug. Charming and Hook join her and Regina stays rooted in her spot, the dagger still clutched in her right hand.

-"Is she all right?" It's Robin. Regina has totally forgotten he was here. With all the darkness targeting her and then Emma's heroic and oh-so-stupid move (why does she always do that?) she has lost her perception of her surroundings.

-"I don't know" she replies and it's the truth. Every time someone tries to help her, something goes wrong, whether it's to the helpers or to her. She decides to check, though, so she walks toward Emma, even if she has to break the big family hug.

-"How are you feeling? Are you all right?" She can’t keep her voice from sounding a little too high and scolds herself internally for that.

-"I'm fine. I guess." Emma says with her signature half smile.

-"Maybe Emma's white magic disintegrated the darkness when it went into her," Snow suggests, a little too enthusiastic for Regina's liking.

-"It's impossible. That darkness is too powerful, and it was with Gold for decades,” Regina cuts in, trying to figure out why Emma seems to be completely unaffected.

-"She's the Savior, Regina; she has a pure heart. Why would it be so impossible for her to destroy the darkness? Even your mother couldn't take Emma’s heart back in the Enchanted Forest."

Regina hates it when Snow talks to her about Cora like she had nothing to do with her death but she decides to hold back the snarky remark which is about to come out and instead focuses on the matter at hand: "It's impossible because..."

-"Regina's right." They all look at Emma, confused. "I haven't destroyed it. I still feel it inside of me. It's like a powerful energy flowing through my veins and it feels great but strange at the same time because I know it's not mine", Emma says, gesturing around her stomach with her hands, her brows furrowed in concentration, trying to express in the best way possible what she's feeling. "Does that make sense?" she asks them, looking at Regina and hoping she'll provide an answer.

-"Yes it does" Regina replies with, she hopes, a reassuring smile. "Your magic is keeping the darkness at bay because it's new, an unknown power. But the darkness, especially the Dark One's, it's very tantalizing and soon your magic will grow accustomed to its presence and they will start to mix until you can't distinguish which one you're using. That's why I think we should look for Merlin as soon as possible. We have to get rid of that darkness before it consumes you totally."

Charming and Snow are pestering Regina for explanations for a strong minute now when Emma speaks again:

-"How long do I have?" Emma asks and tries to sound more calm and determined than she really feels because the last thing she wants is to see her parents panicking. Regina doesn't seem to understand her question so she adds: "before it consumes me totally, I mean."

-"I don't know, but if you want the truth, Ms Swan, I thought it was going to do it the moment you took the dagger and plunged it into the darkness, so consider yourself lucky." The moment Regina finishes her sentence she regrets it. Her tone was really harsh; it made the statement sound like a reproach. But maybe that’s what it was: a reproach. She's still angry at Emma for the gesture, she can feel it. The fact that Emma is willing to help others, disregarding her own wellbeing, has always bothered her but this time more than ever. Emma could have died. Actually, she was sure Emma was going to die and that all that would be left was pure evil embodied by Emma. And the worst part, what makes Regina really angry, is that Emma is acting like it's normal, like it was the right thing to do. Regina is tired of people dying or suffering because of her and Emma is the worst among them because she's willing to do it over and over again. The fire, the wraith, the trigger... She could say all of this to Emma so she won't be looking at her the way she's doing right now, with hurt and confusion, but she won't. She already knows what the blonde will say - something like "It was the only way," or "It's too late anyway," or her favorite and probably the most accurate: "I would do it all over again." So she remains quiet and turns her back to the Charming family, ready to leave when she hears:

-"Not so fast, Your Majesty. May we know what you're planning to do with that?" Regina turns and sees Hook, pointing at her right hand. She looks down and realizes she’s still holding the dagger.

-"Sorry", she comes close to Emma again and extend the dagger in her direction. "There."

-"You should keep it," Emma tells her. "Hide it somewhere so I won't be tempted, you know? Just in case." Regina is still debating whether it's a good idea or not when Hook answers for her:

-"I can do it, love, it's kind of a pirate thing, hiding treasures," he says, smiling and winking at Emma. Regina doesn’t trust him at all, but it's not her place to decide who's going to safeguard Emma's new power so she keeps holding the dagger in front of Emma and waits for her decision. Emma looks at her for a strong second as if the correct answer will appears in Regina's eyes. "Ok," she says softly but she doesn't take the dagger. She steps aside and waits for Hook to grab it from Regina's hand. Emma feels that she's still perfectly in control of herself but she won't tempt fate tonight either.

Everybody seems to agree that it's a good solution, so they all say their goodbyes and split up. Hook leaves with the dagger to hide it, Emma goes back home with her parents, Robin heads to his camp to update his merry men about the Zelena situation and reunite with Roland. Finally, Regina is the last one to stay. She has to pick up Henry from Gold's shop but she can't get up the resolve to do so yet. She has to tell him that his birth mother is the new Dark One and she doesn't know how to do it.


	2. Chapter 2

It's been a week since all the darkness drama, and Emma feels great. Terrific, even. Her body feels like she's twenty and she's in a very good mood. Maybe it's because she had a really great time these past few days. First, her mother showed her how to cook family recipes, then, one day, when the work at the station was, well, nonexistent, she convinced her father to teach her some sword fighting. The only downside is that she didn't spend a lot of time with Regina. The latter is working hard in her vault to find Merlin and when Emma offered to help the brunette, Regina told her that she'll work better alone because Emma would touch everything and distract her. Sometimes Emma thinks that Regina is mad at her from the way she looks at her but she can't fathom why. It doesn't matter anyway, because when Regina is busy, Emma can spend time with Henry. They played videogames all Saturday afternoon, and it was awesome. Plus, she’s starting to figure out why Regina rejected her help. She saw Robin enter the vault yesterday when she was jogging and now she has a good idea why Regina didn't want to "work" with her. Anyway, Emma doesn't mind missing Regina a little if it means that the Queen is finally happy and living a little (if you ask her). That's what the sacrifice was about, after all. Give Regina a chance at happiness.

Today is Sunday and Emma is on call. She's in the woods, lying on a blanket, reading a good book and praying that her phone doesn't ring. Unfortunately, it does. It's Mrs. Madbury. Her cat decided to play mountain climber. Again. She doesn't want to go at all, but she promised David a calm weekend with Snow and baby Neal. So she gets up, gathers her stuff and drives to Mrs. Madbury's home. By the time Emma arrives and sees Mrs. Madbury waiting for her beside her enormous tree, she's angry. Really angry. You would think working in a small town would be easy, uneventful, and most of the time, it is. Unless you're the Savior. Then, every problem, even the more insignificant of them, becomes yours.

-"Oh I'm so glad you're here, Sheriff! Clyde is up here shaking and I'm afraid he will fall. I told him many times not to climb that tree but Bonnie used to do it a lot and I think he misses her."

-"Bonnie?" Emma doesn't know why she asks. She doesn't care at all about this old lady and her cat. She just wants to go back to reading her book. It must be an automatism of the job, she thinks.

-"She was my other cat. She died a month ago. So, how are you going to do it?"

Emma's patience just reached its limit. She doesn't know who this old lady was back in the Enchanted Forest but she sure has an annoying voice. Emma's so tired of handling stray cats on a weekly basis that she decides that this time, she can do without manners. And have a little fun.

"I think I'll cut the branch. That way, it will be quick, don't you think? And Clyde won't be able to climb the tree anymore..."

-"What?" Mrs. Madbury's face is so precious right now Emma wants to laugh, but she contains herself.

-"No, better not. I did that with the mayor's tree and she didn't like it at all." Emma smiles at the memory. "Well, at least it was an apple tree, this one is not producing anything, right?"

-"But... This tree has been in my family for four generations! It's a miracle it followed the property to Storybrooke with the curse!"

-"You know what? You're right. It will be too much trouble anyway. I have a better idea". Emma doesn't want to be back next week for the furry annoyance so she decides to provide him with an accessory that will help him climb and go down the tree without her help. She closes her eyes, shutting out Mrs. Madbury’s irritating voice and raises her hand toward the cat. Then, she visualizes what she wants to do in her head and summons her magic like Regina taught her. At Mrs. Madbury’s yelling, she opens her eyes to discover that she actually did it. Clyde is still on the branch meowing, but he's now the happy owner of furry wings. Emma is so happy she did it, and the sight is so funny, that she starts laughing hysterically while Mrs. Madbury shouts at her to change Clyde back and murmurs "my poor baby, my poor baby" over and over.

-"Why are you upset, Mrs. Madbury?" Emma asks, her voice still filled with laughter. "Now he can go in the tree and come back anytime he wants!" Then, she turns toward the cat and calls him, imitating his owner annoying voice: "come on buddy, come see Emma." Maybe because it's Emma is calling him or maybe his new wings came with a renewed confidence but Clyde obeys, jumps, and... falls. Apparently providing someone with wings is not enough. You have to teach them how to use them, too. The cat is...well, tough; he walks toward his owner, falling at every step, his wings disrupting his balance. That awkward walk makes Emma laugh harder; she's almost doubled over now but when she hears Mrs. Madbury crying, she manages to keep it at a minimum and proceed to change Clyde back. When it's done, she leaves Mrs. Madbury with her cat cradled in her arms without a goodbye. Emma knows she should be feeling guilty for what she's done, but surprisingly she doesn't. It actually felt great, and now she has a good story to remember every time she feels a little down. She walks back to the Bug smiling, feeling lighter.

*******

It's Sunday and Regina is working in her vault again. She has been tirelessly researching Merlin for a week now. She has found many stories about him but they are too old to give an indication on his current location and she doesn't have anything belonging to him to track him down with magic. She's growing impatient and tired but she can't give up. The Charmings, even if they said they would, aren't helping at all. Baby Neal monopolize all their attention, and recently they're too pleased that Emma seems to want to make up for lost time. Regina's considering taking a break and phoning Henry, who is visiting Gold at this moment, but she hears someone calling her upstairs.

-"Regina ? Are you there ?" It's Robin. He passed by yesterday to ask Regina if she wanted to take a walk in the woods with him and Roland. She had declined saying that she still had a lot of research to do and unfortunately for him, it's still very true.

-"Yes ! I'm down here !" she shouts back.

Robin appears coming down the stairs and when he sees her, sitting at a table with a dozen books and parchments splayed in front of her, a scowl immediately begins to form on his face.

-"You're still working on finding Merlin," he says, with a slightly accusatory tone.

-"Yes. Someone has to," she replies in a harsh tone. He came to scold her at the worst time, she thinks. She's been facing dead ends after dead ends for a week now, and the last thing she needs is someone to tell her what she should do.

-"But why you ?" he says, raising his voice a little. "Can't you let the Charmings handle this ? It's their daughter after all."

-"So ? What are you saying ? That it's a family matter ? That I should step aside and let them manage on their own? Well, guess what ? Emma is Henry's birth mother so she's family. Plus, I don't know if you recall very well, but that darkness was aimed at me and Emma saved me. So, it's the least I can do." She didn't want to be rude to Robin, but the idea of the two idiots doing all the work and questioning her methods inevitably irritates her.

-"I understand that. It's just that I wish you would spend more time with me and Roland. We miss you. And Emma doesn't seem to mind her new condition." He says that last part disdainfully which ends up sending Regina over the edge.

-"That is not a good reason to stop looking for a solution! It's a miracle Emma didn't get totally consumed by the darkness the moment she came in contact with it. She can't keep the darkness at bay for too long. I have to find Merlin before it's too late. Why does nobody seems to get that ?"

-"Maybe because you're wrong." His tone is very serious. "She's the Savior. She has great magic here. Maybe her mother was right when she said that the rules don't apply to Emma. Maybe she will fight the darkness."

-"Maybe. But maybe not. We don't know what is going to happen. Nobody knows." She stands up, rests her hands on the table and leans on it, looking at Robin. "But trust me, I won't stand still and do nothing, hoping that Snow is right, because if she's not, then it will be too late to help Emma, and that, I'm sure of."

Robin must have seen the fierce determination in her eyes because he sighs loudly and says, "All right. Come find me when you're done with all of this. I'll be waiting." He gives her a sad smile and leaves.

Regina doesn't know how long she stands still in her vault after her argument with Robin. She's disappointed that Robin doesn't trust her. That the Charmings don't believe her is a given with their history, but Robin... she thought he was different. The only one who would trust her unconditionally on this would be Emma, if Regina hadn't spent the entire week avoiding her. It seems that Emma's last sacrifice was one of too many for Regina. Every time she sees Emma she can't help but feel angry at her for the reckless gesture, and she can't wonder what this anger means for too long because she's afraid of the answer she'll get.


	3. Chapter 3

It's been almost two weeks since the "cat incident" as the Storybrooke residents named it (or "the awesome cat flying thing" in Emma's words) and the Savior behaviour hasn't gotten better since. Actually, it has spiralled down.

It showed on the job first. One day, there was a fight between Spencer and one of Robin's Merry Men about stealing. Archie, who was walking Pongo, saw the fight and called the station. When nobody answered, he called David and explained the situation. David came as fast as he could, ended the fight and took the two men to the station. Then he called Emma to know where she was since she was the one on duty that afternoon. When she answered, she told her father she was in Boston shopping. Charming pointed out to her that she could have gone shopping another day, that she was on duty. "I'm going to have holes in all my clothes if I continue to wear the same old rags I came to Storybrooke with" was what she said, adding that she had to go to Boston because apparently, in Storybrooke's shops, you only find clothes from the eighties or hand-made Enchanted Forest clothes. Plus, that afternoon was particularly uneventful before the fight and Charming had to agree to that and decides to cut his daughter some slack. But it didn't get better. When Emma was called to handle a drunk Leroy running havoc in the diner a few days later, she came in and said to everyone in the diner to leave poor Leroy alone and maybe even follow his example. "Live a little," she said. Then, she shouted, "Next drinks are on me !" and engaged Leroy in an arm wrestling match.

And Emma’s off-duty behaviour didn’t reflect well on her, either. The day following her intervention at Mrs. Madbury’s house, Emma was still proud of her little prank on the old lady and in a very good mood. So, she decided to spent her day with Hook and have fun. The fun turned out to be a lot of inappropriate touching in public places. Fortunately for Snow, the shame she felt when Ruby had told her about Emma's obscene behaviour on the farthest booth of the diner, didn't last long. No sooner than the day after, Hook was seen wandering near the harbour crying, feeling lost. Emma had broken up with him because he was too clingy. Her exact words, when he reminded her that she told him she loved him, were:"I said that because I thought I was going to die, or at least not remember my previous life or something like that. I thought it was the least I could do for you considering how you gave your life for me without hesitation in the Isaac alternative reality." After that, it got even worse. Emma started going out every night to the Dirty Robber to dance and drink. A lot.

The only thing that changed which people didn’t reproach Emma for is her time spent with Henry. She finally stopped feeling guilty for abandoning him and accepted that she deserved to spend time with him. So, every time he wasn't at school or doing his homework, and when Regina was busy in her vault, Emma would take him to the movies, baseball games, or they would play videogames in his room and soccer in the mansion's yard. Henry would leave each of their meetings with an enthusiastic, "I had the best time ever" and she couldn't agree more.

*******

It's Saturday morning. 7:30 am precisely. Emma is trying to turn her key in the lock of her parents’ apartment while making the least noise possible. Well, the least noise her still slightly inebriated brain can manage. While doing so, she hopes her parents are still asleep. The last thing she wants is to face their accusatory glare. She's finally having fun in this boring town, making friends like they suggested to her and she's too tired for a lecture right now. She crouches to reach the lower lock and can't help but hiss. She knew she should have refused when Ruby and Lily begged her to participate at the Rabbit Hole's twerking contest with them. She's too old for that, but most of all, she's an absolute mess at this stuff. Though she doesn't really regret doing it; she has to admit it was the most fun she’s had since all that darkness drama and it felt good. Finally the door opens and she proceeds to tiptoe slowly inside the apartment. She's congratulating herself mentally for the good job she's doing until she realizes that she sees every piece of furniture in the room. Because the light is on. Crap. She slowly raises her head and here they are. Her dad is standing right in front of her with his arms crossed and a disapproving glare directed at her while her mother is sitting at the counter, her head in her hands. Emma doesn't see what she has done wrong this time and decides to act nonchalant.

-"Hey... Good morning you two !" She tries to sound happy but her voice is still husky with all the yelling of the party and it sounds more like she's dying.

-"Emma. We need to talk. You can't continue like this," her father says and his words make Snow raise her head and look at her. "Come sit with me, sweetie" she adds, smiling softly. Emma doesn't want to sit. She wants this conversation over and to go to sleep.

-"Nah, I prefer to stand up. You won't be long, right ? I have to go to bed, I'm very tired."

-"Emma !" Her father's look is very serious now. "You can't keep going out every night and making a fool of yourself all day long. A lot of people have started complaining to us about your behaviour. You're the sheriff, Emma ! You can't..."

-"I can't what ?" Emma isn't tired anymore. The rage which is coursing through her veins right now has sobered her instantly. "Shame the Charming family name? It's because we're heroes right? We don't fail. Sorry if I don't share your disappointment in me. I can't fail at a job I didn't ask for, right?"

-"But Emma, you love being sheriff," Snow says, looking at her daughter with her eyes wide open as if she has trouble believing it's her daughter talking.

-"I don't love being sheriff. I took the job because it was the only one available and I needed an excuse to stay for Henry." She sighs loudly. "That's the problem actually. You keep assuming things about me. Because some prophecy says I'm the Savior, everyone expects me to be perfect, to solve every problem in this little but oh so fucked up town !" She's yelling now but she can't stop herself. She needs to get it all out. "But I never asked for this ! I didn't even know magic existed until I came here, and now everybody expects me to be an expert and save everyone every time a villain decides to come to visit? I broke the curse. I have done my part. I owe nothing to these people. Maybe you do because you're their king and queen but I don't."

-"Emma! Stop this nonsense!" her father shouts. He's going to say something else when Snow touches his arm, tells him to calm down, and turns to Emma :

-"It’s the darkness in you speaking, sweetie. You don't mean those things. You can fight it. We believe in you." She talks to her daughter with her eyes so full of kindness and hope that it sends Emma over the edge. They just don't get it.

-"The darkness is not controlling what I'm saying. It's only giving me the courage to finally say it. Stop looking for an excuse and face it. I'm not the daughter you wanted. I disappointed you and I don't blame you for that. I have my share of responsibility in this." She takes a deep breath and speaks again, her voice now perfectly calm and clear, showing a confidence she never thought she would have in her. "I had 28 years to picture who my parents might be, what they looked like, knowing I would never get an answer. But I found you. It was a miracle, a once in a lifetime kind of chance so I swore to myself that I wouldn’t screw up this time. That's why I played the part everyone wanted me to play. The Savior, the town sheriff, the mother. I wanted you to be proud of me, not to give you a reason to abandon me again. But it made me agree to things I wasn't ok with. Like when you said you have a way to get everyone back to the Enchanted Forest. I never wanted to go. I never knew that world, I would have been totally lost and useless. And what about Henry? He doesn't belong there. But you were so happy, I couldn't let you down. I did it again when you named baby Neal." She can't help but chuckle wearily at this, though. "You named my brother after my dead first love. How fucked up is that?"

-"It was to honor his memory ! He died as a hero !" Snow can't help but interrupt, her eyes on the verge of tears.

-"Yeah, because of what he did for the town" Emma replies, calmly. "What about what he did to me? When he abandoned me, pregnant in prison? It never occurred to you how I would feel about that, did it? And you know why ? Because you never asked me !" She yelled the last part so loudly that she woke up baby Neal, who's crying in his room now. Emma takes advantage of the distraction to flee the scene, ignoring her father’s pleas to come back.

*******

Regina woke up pretty early for a Saturday morning. She has left a note for Henry in the kitchen telling him she has an urgent matter to attend to and that she will be back before lunch. She has to try an idea she had last night. She dreamed of the Enchanted Forest and more precisely of the time she mingled among her subjects in Rumplestiltskin disguise. And she saw him. The town crier. Shouting about a new royal decree, some banns and a theatrical performance tonight on the village square by an itinerant company. Maybe that was the solution. She could follow the town crier through her mirrors until he says something about Merlin coming to a village. She would start with the news of towns close to a village Merlin was a month ago, according to a parchment she found in the Apprentice’s belongings. It was a long shot. She knew it. But she was starting to feel desperate and at this point, anything could turn into a good idea. So, here she is, in her vault again, in front of her mirror, hoping for some sort of miracle.

She's on her fourth (or is it fifth?) village and close to giving up. Her ears hurt so much from all the shouting of the town crier that she's starting to have thoughts about murdering him. But suddenly, he says it. The impossible. "You think your problems can't be solved ? You have tried everything including magic and nothing worked ? Wait to see what the great sorcerer Merlin can do for you ! He's coming to town tomorrow and he may be the solution you weren't expecting anymore !" Regina jumps from the massive wooden chest she was sitting on and grips the sides of her mirror with both hands. She has to find the village's name if she wants to locate it. She finally sees a sign "Locronan apothecary" and grabs her Enchanted Forest's map. There it is. Locronan. She can't believe it worked. She did it. However, the celebrations will have to wait. It's already 11:30 am so she has to leave now if she wants to tell the Charming family about her discovery before going back and making lunch for Henry and her.


	4. Chapter 4

When Regina arrives in front of the Charmings' apartment door she hears nothing but silence. She can't believe they are still sleeping this late. So much for a family of rulers... She knocks anyway because the news can't wait. She hears David saying "it's open" and enters the apartment. She wasn't prepared for the scene before her. Snow is sitting by the kitchen counter crying and her husband is standing next to her with his arm wrapped around her, kissing her forehead saying "it's going to be ok" over and over again.

-"What happened here ?" Regina can't help but ask.

-"We had a pretty bad argument with Emma," David informs her.

-"And where is she now ? I have some important news to share."

-"Um, she kind of stormed out earlier this morning," Charming says, and Regina can see he feels really bad about it.

-"She hates us, Regina" Snow suddenly tells her, still crying. "She has changed. The things she said to us..." Snow can't finish; she's crying again, harder this time. Regina feels bad for her, truly, but she can't resist adding a snarky "well, it's not like I didn't warn you."

-"What did you come to tell us? Can you help Emma?" Charming asks, looking at her with hopeful eyes.

-"As a matter of fact, I can," Regina replies with a self-satisfied smile. She's still very proud of her accomplishment so she can't help it when her eyes light up when she says, "I found Merlin's location."

-"Where is he ?" Charming asks, his attention fully on Regina now. Snow has stopped crying all of a sudden and is now staring at Regina.

-"He's in the North of the Enchanted Forest, in some village named Locronan. I mean, he will be there tomorrow."

-"We have to find Emma and tell her !" Snow yells suddenly. Regina reminds Snow it's what she came to do in the first place with an eye-roll only her former step daughter can provoke.

-"But we don't know where she is now and I'm sure she won't answer us if we try to call her," Snow adds with a sad little voice, dropping back onto the stool she has gotten up from during her previous but short-lived excitement.

-"Don't worry," Regina tells them. "I just located the most uncatchable sorcerer; it won't be difficult to find a small town's moody sheriff."

*******

After her visit to the Charmings’, Regina came back home to have lunch with Henry. Now that he is at a friend’s place for the afternoon, Regina has the mansion to herself which is perfect for her plan to get Emma back. She thought that she had worked too hard to find Merlin to simply do the same with Storybrooke's unpredictable sheriff. Especially if the latter doesn't want to be found. No, this time the target is going to show by herself and she has the perfect plan for that. Except for one little thing. She hates it. But of course, she wouldn't have to come up with this plan if the two idiots had done their part in the first place. If they couldn't help her with locating Merlin because of their lack of knowledge concerning magic, the least they could do was take care of Emma, see if there was any change and help her fight the darkness within her if things started to become hard for Emma. Now Regina is sitting on her couch, her phone lying on the table just in front of her, forced to do something she already regrets. When Regina said to the Charmings not to worry, that she will find their daughter, she wasn't lying. She was sure of it. She didn't say why because then she would have had to explain Emma's behavior toward her these past two weeks, and the Charmings didn't need that at the time. They were already too devastated after Emma's departure.

Since Regina’s argument with Robin in the vault, Emma, as if she has sensed that things weren't running too smoothly between Regina and Robin, started to act differently around her. Even if they haven't seen each other a lot with Regina working in her vault most of the time, Emma's change didn't go unnoticed by the brunette during their few encounters. To say that Emma has become flirtatious with her is the understatement of the year. Every time the Sherriff would come to the mansion to pick up or drop off Henry, she would tell Regina how pretty she was today or how she looked good in this dress. One day she even brought flowers and another day she offered to pay for Regina's take out at the diner. Regina's not dumb; she knows courting when she sees it. So she did what all mature people like her would do in this situation: she hid in her vault. Yes, it was a cowardly move and she knows it. The problem is that she was actually tempted by Emma and she couldn't get distracted from her research. The darkness gave the Savior some sort of new self-confidence which Regina found very attractive. At each of Emma’s winks, hints and suggestions, Regina found it was harder and harder to resist. She never gave in though. She reminded herself each time that the Sheriff wasn't in her right mind at the moment. If she accepts Emma's offer now and then later, after they found Merlin, Emma is back to her old self and regrets, it would look like Regina took advantage of her. She would never do that. Well, until now that is. She's convinced that if she leaves a message on Emma's phone saying that she wants her to come for dinner tonight, the blonde will be here right on time. Regina is going to play with Emma's feelings like the Evil Queen she's not anymore and hates herself for it. She exhales slowly, takes her phone and prepares her most suave and suggestive voice.

-"Hello Emma, it's Regina. It's been a while since we last saw each other and I'm sorry for that, I know I've been very busy. But I would really like to catch up so, would you like to come for dinner at my place tonight ? I'll make lasagna."

*******

Regina is taking the lasagna out of the oven when she hears the doorbell ring. She looks at the kitchen clock: 7:00 pm. Emma is right on time. "Henry, honey, can you set the table while I let Emma in ?" Henry, who was sitting at the kitchen table waiting for his favorite meal to cook, gets up and starts pulling out the plates. Regina can't help but flatten the front of her dress while walking toward the door. "You have nothing to worry about; it's just a family dinner," she reminds herself. Only Emma doesn't know that.

When Regina opens the door, she finds Emma smiling broadly at her with a bunch of red roses in her hands.

-"Hi. These are for you," Emma says, still smiling.

-"Thank you; they're lovely," Regina replies and feels bad. She feels even worse when she lets Emma in and notices that she's wearing dark skinny jeans with what looks like a clean and (ironed?) red shirt and a brand new black leather jacket.

When Emma steps into the kitchen she's greeted by Henry's enthusiastic "hi" and three sets of plates. She takes a glance at Regina who is looking at everything but her and busying herself with putting the flowers in a vase.

-"Is that a new jacket?" Henry asks Emma when they're sitting down to eat, pointing out her black Perfecto.

-"Yes. I found it in a vintage shop in Boston. I wanted to change a little and I didn't want to wear my usual red jacket tonight."

-"Why? I like your red jacket," Henry says.

-"Well, I didn't know you would be dining with us tonight and I know your Mom isn't very fond of it, so I wanted to make a bit of an effort for our hostess," Emma replies smiling crookedly, eyes fixated on Regina.

Henry doesn't understand very well what is going on but he's clever enough to know when an answer is not directed at him or when not to ask for an explanation. So he remains quiet.

Regina immediately catches Emma's disguised question. She tries to appear perfectly calm and nonchalant when she answers. "I didn't tell you Henry will be here in my voicemail ?" At Emma's negative shake of her head, she adds. "Oh, well, he lives here, so it must have appeared so obvious to me that I forgot to mention it." Regina sees, at the way Emma is smirking at her, that the blonde is not buying it at all and even seems to enjoy herself seeing Regina struggle with a good explanation. Regina knows she's not good at playing dumb but she's also a sore loser so she can't help but add with a seductive smile : "Anyway, I appreciate the effort. This jacket looks good on you, Ms Swan." It seems to do the trick because Emma stops smirking in a flash and doesn't push the topic. Regina doesn't have time to gloat though because Henry is tired of waiting.

-"Can we tell her now, Mom?" he says excitedly.

-"Tell me what?" Emma asks, looking back and forth between Regina and their son.

-"I found Merlin," Regina says, smiling, while Henry is looking at her proudly. When Emma says nothing, a blank expression on her face, Regina decides to explain herself, thinking that maybe Emma doesn't believe that she actually did it. She tells Emma how the idea came to her, how she did it and that she asked Jefferson to make a hat that will bring Emma to her destination in no time. The Sheriff doesn't say anything during all of Regina's explanation. She just looks at Regina with an unreadable expression on her face.

-"Wow. That's really great, Regina. Thank you," Emma finally says when Regina's done but she doesn't sound thrilled at all. Her smile is forced and awkward. Regina wants to ask what's wrong, but she thinks that maybe Emma doesn't want to explain her reasons in front of Henry and spoil the boy's good mood, so she says nothing and decides to wait after Henry is finished.

The rest of the evening goes well. Emma is truly enjoying this dinner with her two favorite people in the world. Henry is obviously happy that she will be cured of the darkness soon because he talks excitedly about his afternoon at his friend's house, school, and his videogames. Emma is happy to let him talk; it makes her forgot about her argument with her parents and the few glances Regina throws at her now and then. Emma knows Regina noticed her less than thrilled reaction and is waiting for Henry to go to bed to confront her about it. Emma is not in a hurry for that.

Soon, Henry wishes his moms goodnight and takes the stairs to his bedroom. Emma and Regina end up alone in the kitchen, staring at each other, waiting to see which one of them will talk first.

-"You want help with the dishes ?" Emma finally asks. She knows she can't avoid this conversation so she decides to just go with it.

-"Yes, thank you," Regina replies, handing Emma the dish towel. "But first I have a question." It’s not that Emma didn't see this one coming so she simply says "shoot".

-"When I told you about Merlin you didn't seem very happy..."

-"Yeah I know," Emma tells her in a defeated tone. "It's not that I don't want to be rid of that darkness, of course I want to. It's just that I don't want to go on a trip in the Enchanted Forest with my parents. We had... huh... a little..."

-"Oh yes, I know about your argument," Regina cuts in. "But I won't describe it as little. The state I found your parents in, I figure you threw quite the tantrum," she adds, raising an eyebrow.

-"Oh." Emma clears her throat. "Well, since I can't go with them, I was thinking you could go with me instead," Emma says, smiling cockily at Regina. "I don't know the Enchanted Forest very well and I thought you would be the perfect guide," Emma adds, her eyes starting to shine mischievously.

-"Or you could apologize to your parents and go with them," Regina suggests in an horrendous faked happy tone. She doesn't care if she sounds like a coward but she doesn't know if she could handle this new flirtatious Emma, alone, for an entire day, and still complete the mission.

-"I have nothing to apologize for." Emma's tone is suddenly so harsh that Regina is a little startled. Their family dinner was so pleasant, warm, she almost forgot that this Emma is not who the Savior used to be. She has to fix her and she finally found the way to do it. So, if saving Emma means she has to accompany the blonde to her Fairytale Land trip, so be it.

-"All right," Regina says, sighing. "I will go with you." It can't be that bad, she thinks. They will be back in a flash.

-"Great!" Emma exclaims happily, raising her right fist in the air. "If I have to walk an hour in the forest like some peasant of the Middle Ages and get all muddy, it might as well be with charming company," she adds, her eyes on Regina with a look which left nothing to the imagination.

Maybe that little trip in the Enchanted Forest with Emma won't be as simple as Regina thought after all.


	5. Chapter 5

It's Sunday morning and Regina is waiting for Emma in the middle of her backyard, Jefferson's hat in her hands. She asked him to make a hat that will bring Emma and her to the Enchanted Forest's woods and, more precisely, at a 30 minutes' walk from the village Merlin is visiting. She wants their arrival to be as discreet as possible. She looks at the dagger, wrapped in an old tissue, lying on her bench and hopes that Merlin really has the power to destroy it. She asked Hook to retrieve the dagger from its hiding place and give it to her earlier this morning. The poor pirate was a shell of himself. Puffy face, bloodshot eyes and rum breath. Well, more than usual for that last part. Regina feels sorry for him even if she never thought he was a good match for Emma. The man wears more eyeliner than she does, for God’s sake!

Regina looks at her watch again. Emma is 10 minutes late. Regina is about to call her on her phone when the blonde finally shows up.

-"Ready to go at least, Ms Swan?" Regina asks, rolling her eyes.

-"Well, good morning to you too, Madam Mayor," Emma replies, smiling and walking nonchalantly like she's taking a peaceful walk in the woods and not preparing for a magical intervention in another realm.

-"Here," Regina says, handing Emma the hat. "I leave you the honour of opening the portal."

-"Why me?"

-"Because I'll be busy keeping this safe," Regina answers, taking the wrapped dagger in her hands. Emma looks at the old tissue and doesn't need to ask to know what it holds. She can feel it calling to her. So, she does as Regina told her and turns the hat. A red vortex suddenly appears in front of them. Regina walks in first, and Emma jumps after her.

*******

They land exactly where it was planned. Well, Regina does. Emma lands on Regina making her fall and is now crushing the brunette under her weight.

-"Sorry!" Emma says abruptly, rolling off Regina at the speed of sound.

-"May I ask why you decided to jump on me, Ms Swan instead of simply walking through like I just did before you?!" Regina yells at Emma, while getting up and starting to dust off her perfectly ironed mayor clothes frantically.

-"Sorry! Emma says again, sheepishly. "It's just that the first time I went through a hat portal, the landing was pretty bad so... I decided to jump feet first this time. To be safe," she adds, looking down and rubbing the back of her neck. "But, you're okay, though? I..."

-"I'm fine," Regina replies in a stern voice. She takes a deep breath and straightens her blazer. "Let's get this over with, okay? At Emma's nod, she changes their clothes with a snap of her fingers to fit their new environment. Emma is about to critique her new outfit but the brunette starts walking decisively toward their destination at a surprisingly quick pace for her size, so Emma decides to keep her remark to herself. For now.

*******

They have been walking for 20 minutes now. They're almost there. But Regina can't take anymore. Emma has been insufferable since they started their trip to the village. She doesn't walk. She wanders. She picks flowers, looks for birds, and chats with the people they meet on their way, asking dumb questions like "Have you heard about an Evil Queen who lived here 30 years ago?" Regina gets that this whole meeting with Merlin can be stressful for Emma, she is herself a little nervous, but all that delaying is really getting on her last nerve.

-"You know, I was thinking, I get that you gave me pants because they are more practical and that jeans don't exist here, but don't you have something more, I don't know, skin-tight?" Emma asks, pulling at the legs of her pants, scrunching her nose.

Now, Regina is officially done. "All right. What is it, Ms Swan?"

-"I told you. I think these pants..."

-"I meant what is it with you?" Regina cuts in. Emma looks at her confused. "Oh don't play dumb. You think I didn't notice that you're doing everything you can to delay our encounter with Merlin ever since we got here?" Regina says, glaring at Emma, her arms crossed on her chest. Emma knows she's busted so she decides to soften Regina with some sweet talk.

-"I know; I'm sorry. It's just that I'm enjoying myself here and I got a little carried away," Emma replies, smiling sheepishly. Regina is still glaring at her, though, so she adds, "I can't just walk a straight line until we get there when I have such a great view." The way she says that last part with a wolfish grin, Regina immediately understands that the blonde is not talking about the landscape at all. Despite her desire to join Emma in her flirting that the brunette admit she find harder and harder to resist, the Queen won't be distracted so easily.

-"You know I raised your son, Ms Swan, and partly your mother, too, right? So trust me when I say that I know when a Charming is avoiding a topic," Regina says, smirking. "So what is it? You don't want to be rid of that darkness anymore? You want to keep those shiny new powers?" she continues, raising her arms in a mocking gesture while she starts walking again.

-"No! Of course I want it gone, but..."

-"But what?" Regina asks, impatiently. She doesn't have all day and this mission is taking forever.

-"I was thinking that maybe I don't need to be fixed," Emma says so very quietly that Regina almost doesn’t hear her. She stops walking all of a sudden and turns to look at Emma. The Sheriff is not smiling anymore. Actually, she stands straight, her fists clenched at her sides. "What are you saying?" Regina asks, her voice sounding more high-pitched without her consent.

-"I'm saying," Emma replies, her eyes raising to meet Regina's, "that I'm already fixed." She comes closer to Regina, continuing to look her in the eye. "Since the darkness, I feel like I'm finally in control of my life," she continues, louder this time and with a confidence in her voice that Regina has never heard before. "I make decisions which are right for me instead of just for others. I'm thinking about my happiness first and it feels... good." She lets a laugh escape from her throat, strangled with tears about to come out. "I don't want to be burdened again with that stupid Savior's role. The darkness helped me to stop caring all the time about what others would think of me, of my actions and decisions, and for the first time in a long time, I’ve felt light. Free." She stops staring at Regina, her eyes still on the verge of tears, drifting to look into space. "Happy," she whispers.

Regina wants to cry because she gets what Emma is saying. In fact, she's probably the only resident in Storybrooke to actually understand this feeling. But that's not what makes her feel so bad for Emma right now. It has more to do with the fact that she will change Emma back even if the blonde feels better with the darkness now. For her own selfish reason. She needs the old Emma back but she won't tell her why.

-"Emma... You can't stay this way. You may be okay with the darkness now but soon you will lose control of it and it will be too late," Regina tries.

-"Lose control? You're kidding, right?" Emma says, eyes wide open now. "It's the first time that I have had total control of my powers! I'm finally using my magic without being afraid of creating havoc," she continues, making a fireball in her right hand and extinguishing it with ease.

-"Emma, think of your parents, they..."

-"My argument with them has nothing to do with the darkness," Emma cuts her off, dryly. "I told them things that needed to be said. That's all."

Regina is running out of ideas but she can't give up. "You can't keep the darkness!" she shouts out of desperation.

-"Why?!" Emma yells back.

Regina takes a deep breath and tries to calm down. She's here to reason with Emma, not to lose it. "Look at what it did to Rumple. What it did to me," she says, looking at Emma with pleading eyes.

-"It's not the same thing. Rumple was obsessed with power and you needed revenge after what you went trough. Magic doesn't have a moral compass. It's what you do with it that makes it right or wrong," Emma explains calmly, almost wearily. "You always had magic. When you were the Evil Queen you used dark magic and now you're using light magic. Like when you saved Henry, but it was always your magic. Nothing changed." Regina knows Emma is right. She tries frantically to find something else to say but her mind comes up blank. She just looks at Emma with her mouth open, waiting to find the words but Emma beats her to it.

-"Stop being a hypocrite, Regina," Emma tells her angrily. "You prefer the new Emma Swan too, admit it."

-"No, I..." Regina starts saying, but Emma doesn't listen to her.

"Oh please!" she exclaims with a sarcastic laugh. "The old Emma was a coward. I have had feelings for you for a long time now and I never acted on them because I didn't want to screw up anything, and that's what I do. Well, what the old Emma always did." She turns serious again, a sad look in her eyes. "You were okay with Henry again, you had Robin, and what did I do? I brought Marian back. I was a mess and you didn't need that." Suddenly, she smiles at her and her eyes start to shine. "But the darkness opened my eyes. Now I can see myself without my self-depreciating glasses. I can stop blaming myself for everything. I didn't screw up your happiness with Robin; Ingrid and then Zelena did! It was time I stopped stepping back for the competition and started fighting for what I wanted."

Regina finds herself frozen in place and she doesn't know why. Emma just admitted that she has feelings for her! She has dreamed of this moment so many times; she doesn't understand why now that it is finally happening, she can't answer. She should tell the Sheriff that she has been in love with her for a long time now, but the words won't come out. Her eyes seek Emma's and it hits her.

-"You still have to change back," Regina finally says.

-"Why?" Emma says hastily. "I'm in control of my magic now, I can protect you and Henry! I'm just realizing that I'm worthy of this family," she adds, grabbing Regina by her shoulders and looking at her with a crazy look in her eyes. At Regina’s unresponsive form, Emma starts to grow impatient. She squeezes the Queen's shoulder harder and shouts her question one more time, "Why?!"

Regina's shoulders hurt and the pain makes her close her eyes. But Emma doesn't loosen her grip. The Savior is shaking her now and keeps asking "why?" again and again.

-"Because you're not the Emma I fell in love with!" Regina finally shouts back, tears streaming down her cheeks but eyes still closed. She's afraid of opening them and seeing Emma's reaction. Instead, she feels Emma releasing her, so she gently raises her head and slowly opens her eyes to look at the blonde. Emma seems totally lost.

-"But you... I..." Emma tries to speak but she's apparently too stunned to form a coherent sentence. She keeps staring at Regina helplessly and waiting for the brunette to say something while she tries to compose herself.

Seeing the blonde all confused, Regina decides to give her some explanation to help her process what Regina had just admitted. She already said too much so she might as well come clean already.

-"I..." Her voice is still a little hoarse from the crying and the shouting so she clears her throat. "I suspect that I've been in love with you for quite some time now." She nervously tucks a loose strand of her hair behind her ear and tears her eyes from Emma's. It's going to be harder than she thought. "At first, I thought it was my punishment for casting the curse, falling in love with my nemesis' daughter. The perfect way for Fate to ensure I would never get my happy ending while rubbing it in my face." She laughs wearily, wiping at her cheeks. "Then Robin showed up. And he was great if you don't count all the times we were separated by fate: the new curse, Marian being frozen and finally Zelena." She sighs and looks at Emma again. "But then the darkness happened and you sacrificed yourself for me. Again." She can't help her voice sounding reproachful on that last word but the feeling quickly fades away. "And it all started to become clear," she continues. "You will always put me first. You already did."

Robin chose Marian because his code always comes before anything else, Regina thinks, and she doesn't want to be selfish, but it feels good after all the people who let her down, from her father to little Snow, to finally have someone who put her first. Someone who would do it without hesitation all over again.

-"And now that we're this close to getting rid of the dagger permanently," she continues, softly, "I finally understand what was boring me so much about you being the new Dark One whereas everyone else didn't really care about it. Even you. I was missing the old Emma." She can't help but smile fondly when she says the next part. "The childish and insecure Emma who knows how to push my buttons and exasperate me, but also the one who knows when to say the words I need to hear." She comes close to Emma and takes the blonde’s hands in her own. "Not a long time ago you said that I understand you more than anyone else, that it makes us special in some way and you were right. Because it goes both ways. You always seem to be the only one to truly understand me sometimes, and it makes me feel less alone."

Regina hopes that her explanation helps Emma to understand why she wants, no, needs Emma to be back to her old self. She's about to get her answer because Emma is opening her mouth, ready to say something when they hear a male voice.

-"Excuse me ladies, can I help you?" It's a villager. He must have heard the shouting and came to see what was happening.

Emma is about to make him disappear with her magic. How dare he interrupt a moment like this? But Regina catches her arm in time.

-"Actually, you can," Regina says to the man, smiling and placing herself discreetly between Emma and him. "We came here to see the great sorcerer Merlin. Do you happen to know where he is staying?"

-"Oh yes," the man answers quickly. "He's in the blue tent, near the village square."  
Regina thanks the villager who continues on his way through the woods. Then, she looks at Emma and waits for her decision.

-"Let's do this," Emma finally says, and they enter the village.

*******

The only thing that prevented Regina from immolating Merlin the moment she met him was the fact that the old sorcerer did know how to destroy the darkness forever. The man was a joke to Regina with his long blue robe with a billion yellow stars stitched on it, his endless beard and his tiny glasses that kept sliding along his nose. She was too busy keeping Emma from touching every single object scattered everywhere to make any remark about the so called sorcerer anyway. She doesn't understand this need to dress ridiculously for the job. Her Evil Queen's outfits were impressive but that was to make a political statement. People needed to be reminded of who they were dealing with. On top of his ridiculous outfit, the old man didn't have any great power. He set Emma free from the darkness by making her drink a potion for which the recipe was written on a parchment as old as the dagger. His magic had nothing to do with it. When Emma drank the potion, she doubled over from the pain and the darkness started leaking from her by her eyes and nose. It flowed as far as the dagger and sank into it. Then, with surprising speed for his age, Merlin poured the remainder of the potion onto the dagger, making it turn into ordinary ashes. The sorcerer didn't ask for any payment. He said that he had wanted to clear the world of that pure evil for a very long time now.

When Emma recovered from the magic intervention a few minutes later, both women went to isolate themselves at the border of the forest to make their return. When they reached a spot discreet enough, Emma said she needed a minute and went to sit on a stump. That was 10 minutes ago. Regina doesn't know how much time needs to pass for it to be considered polite before asking that they go back. Being in the Enchanted Forest again makes her uncomfortable even if nobody recognizes her as the Evil Queen anymore.

-"Are you okay?" she finally braces herself to ask Emma.

-"I just don't want to go back yet," the blonde says, resting her head in her hands. "I don't know if I'm ready to see them yet."

-"Them ?" Regina inquires.

-"Everybody," Emma replies softly. "I let them down Regina. I disappointed every single one of them." She exhales loudly and abruptly stands up. "But you're right," she says, wanting to sound confident and determined but failing miserably. "We waited long enough. Let's go".

Regina puts the hat down on the ground and takes a last glance at Emma. She's standing awkwardly, her hands buried in the front pockets of her jeans, looking everywhere at once like she doesn't belong here. She's definitely back, Regina thinks. The old Emma. With her insecurities and the urge to flee. But Regina doesn't feel sorry for bringing her back. She actually feels like she can breathe again for the first time in weeks. Especially when Emma is looking at her the way she is now. Like she trusts Regina with all her soul.

Regina turns the hat knowing she made the right decision, like always. Except that this time, she has the distinct feeling that she won't have to pay for it.

*******

It's been a week since they got back. Emma's relationship with her parents is slowly improving, but there's still a lot of work to do. The most difficult thing for Emma was to be confronted with the residents’ judgmental gazes, but like in every small town, the rumors never last long. Soon, everything is forgotten and replaced by the latest gossip. What? You don't know? It is said that the Mayor and the Sheriff have been seen kissing on the harbor bench...

 

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is ! You reached the end of the story. I hope you enjoyed the ride. I, for my part, really enjoyed all your follows, reviews and favorite. If you're starting to feel withdrawal symptom, I suggest you turn your TV on tomorrow for the season 5 premiere. It will be more effective than asking me for more of the story because I have this thing preventing me from doing so. How it's called again ? Ah yes ! A "life". a very time-consuming thing this one, especially when joigned by its best buddy, "work" ;) Thanks again for your interest in the story and see you next time !
> 
> PS : For the skilled readers out there (in drawing, photoshop, painting, etc), feel free to picture Clyde if you want but I'm not sure if it would be cute or scary lol. Consider yourself warned :D


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